While this may on occasion involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. To return to the main menu and listen carefully to options 1 through 8.
#Archive today password#
Password will be communicated at a later date to the contact.ĩ. To leave a message a password to access my computer is required. To transfer the call to my mobile phone in case I am not at home.Ĩ.
Extension of toilet to be communicated at the time the call is received.ħ. To transfer the call to my bath room in case I am attending to nature. Extension of bed room to be communicated at the time the call is received.Ħ. To transfer the call to my bed room case I am still sleeping. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there Extension of living room to be communicated at the time the call is received.ĥ. To make a general complaint or inquiry.Ĥ. By pressing Buttons on the phone, he/she will be guided thorough an extensive set of menus:ģ. My Authorized Contact at your bank, the only person with whom I will have any dealings, may call me at any time and will be answered by an automated voice. Let me level the playing field even further by introducing you to my new telephone system, which you will notice, is very much like yours. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required to access my account balance on your phone bank service. In due course I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in all dealings with me. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Justice of the Peace, and that the mandatory details of his/her financial situation ( income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. You will be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. My mortgage and loan repayments will, therefore and hereafter, no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee of your branch, whom you must nominate. From now on I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh and blood person. To this end, please be advised about the following changes.įirst, I have noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you I am confronted by the impersonal, ever-changing, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. I can think of no greater compliment, and I know you will be excited and proud to hear it.
No more will our relationship be blighted by these unpleasant incidents, for I am restructuring my affairs in 2007, taking as my model the procedures, attitudes and conduct of your very bank. You have set me on the path of fiscal righteousness. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to re-think my errant financial ways. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account with $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience I caused to your bank. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years. By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
0 kommentar(er)
